Lifeless
by jarta
Summary: Because everything has an end...complete!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or any of its characters.

Author's Note: This fanfic is an Episode 13-wannabe. I've been frustrated of the last episode because as the title describes it, it's Endless. So this is my version of what will happen after Episode 12. It is supposed to be a one-shot fic but I'm too lazy to type the whole story at once…

_Soubi…_

_If Seimei is alive…_

_And he ordered you to kill me…_

…_would you do it?_

_Probably_

"Based on the previous killings and your son's murder, the killer must be someone Ritsuka knows…"

Ritsuka tuned out the police investigator's voice and stared outside the office window watching as the snow falls. The time when he had the nightmare of the people he had grown to like, he felt grief and pain. But now…

Shuiko-san...

Yayoi-kun…

Shinonome-san…

Yuiko-chan...

They are all dead. Their bodies found this morning at the school.

Yet he felt numb. He felt nothing. Except for the heaviness that oddly sat on his chest.

Someone tapped on his shoulder and Ritsuka turned to look at the investigator's sympathetic face. He remembered the face but not the name. It was the same investigator holding Seimei's case. There was something odd on his voice as he spoke.

"Aoyagi-kun, I've been trying to talk to you"

And Ritsuka realized it was tinged with pity.

"I'm sorry, sir."

"It's okay. I just wanted to ask you something. I know you might not feel like answering them, but it is necessary." The investigator's look was asking for permission.

Ritsuka nodded. He fought the urge to let his mind wander again and tried to focus on the man's voice.

"Do you have any idea who might be behind this? Anyone holding a grudge against you?"

The boy faced town staring at the floor. His cat's ears drooping and his tail swishing rhythmically against the chair's legs. To the man, the boy appeared brooding about the question. To Ritsuka, he just couldn't lie at the man's face. Because lie, was what he was about to do.

Ritsuka shook his head in denial.

"Are you sure? Think again, Aoyagi-kun."

This time he looked straight at the man's eyes. "None, sir"

The man turned to his mother speaking to her. Ritsuka heard some words like "police guarding you until the case is solved" before he tuned everything out again. He looked back outside the window. The snow had ceased falling leaving the ground covered with it.

His heart felt so cold. So heavy. Like a block of ice. Like it was covered with snow.

Ritsuka hadn't been aware of when they had left the police station. He hadn't been aware of when and how they got home. What he only knew, was that his mother was holding his hand as he goes through the motion. Her mother's hand was warm. As if guiding him through the coldness and darkness of his world.

Yay! I want reviews!


	2. Chapter 2

Episode 12 : Endless; Ritsuka was falling asleep everywhere and he had this nightmare of all of his friends dying. His psychologist, his teacher, Yayoi and Yuiko. The one who killed them was Soubi. It turns out that it was Seimei's order and he also had to kill Ritsuka. When he woke up from his nightmare he met up with Soubi and asked him if Seimei is alive and he ordered Soubi to kill Ritsuka, Would he do it. Soubi says probably but then later on says that he would die first. Someone was watching them, it was Seimei remarking that it wasn't just a dream but Ritsuka's fate.

Author's note: Above was episode 12 Endless summary.

* * *

"You!"

Ritsuka was brought back to his senses, wincing as he felt the pain on his mother's tightened grip on his wrist. They were at home, and no one was to interfere.

His mother's other hand got hold of his hair, and he grimaced as he felt his scalp being pulled away from his head. He was forced to look at his mother's face. What he saw was familiar to him. It was the face his mother was using every time she beats him. Contorted with hatred, eyes wild with insanity and tears falling down her cheeks.

"You brought the curse of death!"

Breath was knocked out of his body as he felt his back slammed on the wall. Suddenly, two hands closed upon his throat. His mother was choking the life out of him. It really wasn't the first time she did it. He can't breath and his vision was dimming. She was yelling something on him but he can barely hear it. He need not hear it. He has memorized it. It was his mother's favorite litany. He can actually hear it echoing on his mind.

"_You're not my Ritsuka! My Ritsuka would never do that! Bring back my Ritsuka!"_

Just as he was contemplating that it would be best that he die, his mother let go of him and fled sobbing.

Gasping for air, he brought up his arm and rubbed his eyes that was welling up with tears on his sleeves. His body was still shaking when he stood up that he can barely walk. He had to lean on the wall as he made his way up to his bedroom. He locked his door, stumbled and fell face down to his bed. He turned and stared with unseeing eyes to the ceiling. He didn't know how long he had been staring at the ceiling when the knock came from his bedroom door. He rolled sideways to look at the door.

"Ritsuka, Ritsuka, I've prepared warm bath for you. Why don't you wash yourself first before sleeping?"

He didn't reply.

"Ritsuka!" his mother's voice contained annoyance.

He sighed. "Yes, mom"

Ritsuka waited as his mother's footsteps faded and it was only then, when he stood up and walked toward the closet to find change of clothes.

The water temperature was warm. It's just right for him. It soothes the pains and bruises that he had acquired recently. He blanked out any thoughts and willed himself to relax. Just this once he wanted peacefulness

But it was not to be. Sobs wracked his body as the day's toll took over him. He could not stop crying. And somehow, he didn't want to stop.

* * *

Author's rants: Hope you'll be patient with me. I tend to be lazy typing stories. Next chapter: Ritsuka with Soubi. 


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: ahmmm... it's short like the two others. hehehehe... I still have exams so I have legitimate excuse. so tada! enjoy!

* * *

Ritsuka locked his door and made his way toward his desk, drying his hair with a towel. Dressed on his pajama, he sat on the chair at the front of the desk and switched on his computer. He continued rubbing his hair with the towel as he waited for the computer to load. When it was done, he threw his towel towards his bed and got a hold of the computer's mouse pointing and clicking over a folder at the desktop. It was then that he heard the knocks coming from the balcony. He turned and because the curtain was drawn open, he saw the smiling yet unreadable face of Soubi at the other side of the sliding glass doors.

Soubi was wearing a fashionable winter cloak. Ritsuka stood up contemplating that anything Soubi wore look fashionable to him. Sliding the door open, he shivered when he felt the cold blast hit him squarely. Soubi immediately entered and slid the door close after him while Ritsuka embraced himself and rubbed his arms up and down with both hands. Recovering, the first thing the boy noticed was bottle wrapped in a plastic.

As if sensing the boy's curiosity, Soubi revealed the bottle from the plastic.

"It's sake"

Ritsuka's face expressed his disagreement with a "hn". Soubi's smile widened a bit, warming the expression on his cerulean eyes.

"Why are you bringing sake here?" Ritsuka asked completely annoyed.

"I wanted to warm up with sake but I don't like drinking alone."

"I won't drink sake! I won't drink or eat anything that comes from you!" the boy yelled angrily, his hands fisted.

Several seconds ticked by as a tensioning silence filled the room.

"I won't force you to drink sake, Ritsuka. I just want to have your company," Soubi evenly replied breaking the silence but both of them could still feel the tension surrounding them.

"Is it poisoned?"

"No, I won't die, Ritsuka"

"I didn't mean that! I don't care if you die!" Ritsuka yelled infuriated, his cat's ears and tail bristling. "I wish you would die!"

He turned his back to Soubi and sat on his chair. He faced his computer and browsed through the pictures he called his "memories". Most of them had Soubi's face. He felt anger, grief and pain building up on him.

"Is that an order?"

"I don't care," Ritsuka hissed through clenched teeth and stilled as the computer showed the group picture taken at a bridge on xxxxxxxx(1). Shinonome-san, Yayoi-kun, Yuiko-chan, Soubi and him.

"You killed them."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement made with strong conviction.

* * *

(1) xxxxxxxx- means I forgot the name of the place where they went and took the pic. pls inform me if you know - 


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: This fanfic is dedicated to my bestfriends who might read this. I'll be waiting for your reviews.

Soubi shrugged out of his winter coat and sat beside the bed. Setting his coat beside him, he asked, "Is that an order?"

"I don't care," he heard Ritsuka hissed. Soubi looked sideways to his sacrifice' back and sighed. He brought up the sake bottle and opened it. The bottle was only half full. He had been drinking before he finally decided to pay a visit with Ritsuka. He was just about to drink straight from the bottle when his sacrifice spoke again.

"You killed them."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement made with strong conviction.

The fighter stilled, his body tensed as he waited for the boy's outburst. He willed himself to drink and he did, gulping. The bit dry taste of Honjozo(1) passed through his tongue and towards his throat warming him(2). He already felt a bit drunk. He needed it.

"Why do they have to be dragged into this?!" Ritsuka suddenly stood up and faced Soubi, hands fisted. "They don't have anything to do with him! Or this spell battle thing! They know nothing! Why must you kill them?! It's his order, isn't it?!"

Ritsuka approached Soubi and dropped down, kneeling before him. His eyes welling up with tears, fists clenched tightly on his side, he stared at the face of the man he both love and hate.

"He's alive, isn't he? Seimei's alive, isn't he?"

Soubi closed his eyes and didn't reply. He cannot bear to look at Ritsuka.

"He also ordered you to kill me, right?" Ritsuka's voice was filled with pain then switched back to anger, "Are you going to do it?! When?! Why don't you do it now?! Come on! Do…"

"No!" The sharpness on Soubi's voice cut through Ritsuka's outburst. The boy staring at him with widened eyes. Soubi had never used that kind of voice to him. As if realizing it, Soubi's expression softened as a ghost of a smile flickered on his face.

"No, I won't kill you, Ritsuka"

Ritsuka's eyes narrowed as he glared suspiciously at Soubi's face, trying to find any hints. He did not know what to believe anymore. How many times had Soubi lied to him? Did he dare to believe a man who tells more lies than truth?

Pondering this, Ritsuka decided that he really didn't have choice. Soubi had become the most important person to him. But to put his life on Soubi's hands was it worth it?

Thinking made Ritsuka's head ache, that on one moment, he decided to gamble. He went limp and he let himself be enclosed at Soubi's embrace. Soubi's body felt warm and comforting.

"It hurts, you know," Ritsuka murmured later at Soubi's chest, hearing the other's heartbeat. Ritsuka felt the man moved and he pulled away to look at Soubi. The fighter had brought up the bottle of sake between them and offered it to the boy. "They say that getting drunk is the solution to any pain."

Ritsuka eyed the bottle warily before he took it from Soubi. He lifted it to his mouth and drank. As soon as the unfamiliar taste of sake passed his tongue and hit his throat, his face scrunched up, he choked and started coughing. Soubi got hold of the bottle before it fell from the boy's loosen grasp and chuckled. This was going to be a long night.

(1) a kind of sake which I have researched on the net but I don't have any idea what it tastes like.

(2) I don't have sufficient knowledge to describe the taste of a sake because I haven't tasted it

Author's Rants: I haven't written the last part yet, because I'm having problems on the motivation part. I need reviews to inspire me!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Ohhh! At last! The last chapter is here! I'm really sorry for taking up too long to update this but I got sidetracked with troublesome situations.

Anyway, thank you for those who reviewed here!

Darkside of X  
Dragon  
sarah-bodera  
perishedlove  
Kumiko Imaidegawa  
TheEvilAshleyness

I am hoping for more reviews.

* * *

Ritsuka giggled as he watched the empty bottle roll under his desk until it bumped on one of the desk's feet and stilled. He felt giddy and lightheaded and wasn't that strange? Only moments ago, he was annoyed and felt wronged whenever Soubi would chuckle as he choked and coughed. He looked at the said man who was watching him with amused expression. For a moment, he thought how odd that Soubi's eyes reflect sadness. But the boy's mind was too groggy and hazy to even contemplate about it. Suddenly, he found himself leaning forward and pressing his lips against Soubi's. It wasn't the first time they've kissed but it was the first time Ritsuka initiated it. Surprised, the fighter stared at the boy's face so close to him that he could see the pores on his face. 

Ritsuka's eyes were closed and the lips were unmoving against his. He knew he didn't deserve this but the soft pliant mouth pressed on him was too sweet to ignore that he started nibbling it. Licking across it and tasting the mixed innocence and temptation, Soubi couldn't hold back. The simple kiss became an adult kiss laden with a man's passion that surely such a young boy could not fathom. Soubi's mind has gone blank and he kissed Ritsuka with such desperation that he barely felt the boy pushing and struggling. It had taken awhile before he noticed his sacrifice' reluctance. Abruptly, he pulled away as if burned, both of them breathing heavily their gaze unfocused.

Trying to fought back the haze of passion combined with alcohol, he couldn't help but feel guilty. He had taken advantage of Ritsuka. He couldn't get it out of his mind. However, his conscience stricken thoughts were cut off as he heard Ritsuka chuckling and eyed the boy as the other's hand reached out to his face, the palm wiping the wetness of from his mouth and jaw.

"Wet," Ritsuka said amidst his mirth.

Soubi laughed. A full-pledge laugh sounding hoarse and strange to his ears. He had never laughed like that before. Or he could not remember the last time he laughed so freely. Sure, he always smiles to Ritsuka, since the boy makes him feel happy, but laugh? It was moments later, before he managed to stop, heaving slightly with mirth. Ritsuka was staring at him curiously, and Soubi smiled, "I love you".

The sacrifice once again leaned towards his fighter but this time, not for a kiss. He laid his head against the blonde's chest. He could hear the rhythmic beating of the other's heart, lulling him to sleep. The boy yawned, murmuring incoherent words. Soubi rearranged Ritsuka on his arms and stood up carrying the small body bridal style. He turned, laid the boy on the bed, pulled out the covers and tucked the boy underneath it. He straightened and stilled awhile gazing at the sleeping form on the bed as he contemplated. Deciding, he untucked the cover again and slid beside the his sacrifice, and as if on instinct, Ritsuka inched closer to him. Soubi wrapped an arm around the boy hugging him tightly his eyes stinging. "I'm sorry, Ritsuka"

As time passed by, Ritsuka remained in his dreamless slumber, undisturbed, and unaware that the warm body cuddling him was getting cold. The poison had taken effect.(1) His heartbeat stilled and his breathing stopped.

Soubi and Ritsuka would never wake up again.

_Soubi…_

_If Seimei is alive…_

_And he ordered you to kill me…_

…_would you do it?_

_Probably_

_…I knew it!_

_But I'll die first_(2)

A silhouette of a person stepped out from a dark corner of the street, the light from lamppost casting shadow on the snow-covered pavement. The snow had stopped and the surroundings coated white. So much white, so pure yet so eerie. Few snowflakes clung to his auburn hair and coat. He looked towards the balcony on the second floor of the house across the street. The curtains were drawn hiding everything inside. But he knew…

A serene smile appeared on his face and his lips started moving, whispering and forming words, icy fog coming out from his mouth.

"Farewell, Beloved." A parting word not only for the one who died.(3) "Farewell, brother, Ritsuka"

* * *

(1)the sake has poison. Duh 

(2)dialogue on the last part of the last episode of the anime. It isn't that accurate. If anyone wanted to bother me to replace it with the accurate words uttered by Soubi and Ritsuka please send me their dialogue. Anyway, they still contain its meaning.

(3)explanations on a fic I'm planning to write about Seimei.

Review, anyone?


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